The Sacred Ache: When Longing Leads Us Home

Columnists, Kim Somers Egelsee — By Buddy Sampson on July 12, 2025 at 7:30 pm

There are moments in life—often unexpected, often quiet—when something deep within us stirs. It could be a whisper at midnight, a tear that rises uninvited, or the ache of remembering someone we’ve loved and lost. In those moments, we feel it: a longing. Not for more time or more things—but for more truth. More connection. More us. What if this deep, unshakable pull toward something more isn’t pointing to what’s missing, but calling you back to what’s most important?

We live in a culture that rushes to fill every quiet space. We silence our discomfort, distract ourselves from our emptiness, or medicate our way out of feeling too deeply. But what if the ache inside you isn’t something to get rid of? What if it’s something sacred?

Longing is not a flaw. It is not a sign that you are broken, needy, or late to some invisible race.
Longing is the voice of your soul, remembering where it belongs.

It’s easy to misunderstand this ache. We often think it indicates that something is wrong with us or our lives. We believe that if we just had the right job, the right relationship, the right body, or the right spiritual practice, the longing would disappear.

However, the truth is that this ache is a part of being human. It doesn’t mean we’re off course; it means we’re still open. It means we care. It means we haven’t shut down our deepest capacity to feel.

We long to be known — because deep down, we remember what it felt like to be seen without masks. We long for meaning — because we know, at our core, that life is not about possessions, but about love. We long to return to ourselves because we’ve been scattered, distracted, and taught to believe that our worth lies outside of us.

But that longing…That soft, persistent ache — it is yours. And it belongs to you. It isn’t asking you to escape. It’s asking you to listen. To sit quietly, gently, and say:
“Tell me what you need.”

Longing Is Not Lack — It’s Language

There is a distinction between emptiness and spaciousness.
The ache you feel may not be an absence but an opening instead. It serves as a sacred invitation to more truth, more presence, and more love.

There’s a sacredness in longing—a purity.
It is the soul remembering something it hasn’t fully lived into yet. It’s that part of you that knows, even in silence, that your life is meant for something more than mere survival, more than ticking boxes, and more than playing small to keep others comfortable.

Let longing guide you—not to more doing, but to more being. Healing doesn’t always look like fixing; sometimes, it requires being willing to finally feel. To feel our grief. Our regret. Our hope. Our longing to belong to ourselves again. What if that ache inside you isn’t a sign of lack at all? What if it’s holy? What if your longing is a compass, not pointing to something outside of you, but calling you deeper within?

Allow it to soften the armor you didn’t know you were wearing. Let it lead you home to the places within you that are still waiting to be touched by compassion.

Because the deepest truth is this:
You don’t need to chase after who you are.
You need only to remember.

And your longing?
It remembers everything.

Longing isn’t something to solve — it’s something to surrender to.
It’s a river that will take you home if you let it.
Not to a perfect life, but to a real one.
Not to a version of you who has it all figured out — but to the you who is finally willing to feel it all and still stay.

And when we reach the end of our lives, what we will remember most are not the answers we found… but the moments we had the courage to listen to the questions. To the heartaches that opened us.  To the silences that softened us.  To the longing that led us, not away, but home.

You are not broken. You are remembering.
Longing is not your enemy; it’s your heart calling you home.
This is your sacred journey

 

Cathy J. Yuhas, RN, CEOLD

Founder of Dying Matters, LLC

Author: Walking Each Other Home: Guiding Caregivers and Community Through the Sacred Passage of Death, which will be released on September 17, 2025.

Cathy Yuhas, RN, CEOLD, is a seasoned Registered Nurse and Certified End-of-Life Doula who has devoted over three decades to supporting individuals and families through life’s most profound transitions. As the founder of Dying Matters, LLC, she combines medical insight with soulful presence to advocate for conscious, compassionate end-of-life care.

Her first publication, Have You Heard You Are Dying?, offers a thoughtful, 42-page roadmap to help individuals and families navigate death with clarity, courage, and grace. It explores what it means to have a good death, the role of grief and forgiveness, and how a death doula can support both the dying and their loved ones.

Her new book, Walking Each Other Home: Guiding Caregivers and Community Through the Sacred Passage of Death, is set to release on September 17, 2025. This powerful companion builds on her earlier work, offering an in-depth guide for those navigating caregiving, loss, and legacy. Equal parts practical and heartfelt, the book speaks to the emotional, spiritual, and logistical layers of dying, often overlooked in our culture.

Through her writing and her practice, Cathy invites readers to have the conversations that matter, prepare meaningfully, and embrace the sacredness of this final chapter. Whether you’re a caregiver, healthcare professional, or someone seeking peace of mind, her work provides the wisdom and tools to approach death not as an end, but as a meaningful part of life.

Website: www.dyingmatters.llc

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