Inspirational Coaching and Advice

Columnists, Kim Somers Egelsee — By Kim Somers Egelsee on March 8, 2011 at 7:31 am

By Kim Somers Egelsee, Inspirational Speaker/Life Coach

Inspiration from self and others is key for a joyful life. When a person regularly reads, attends seminars, communicates with others and grows from life experiences, they have the chance to be regularly inspired.

The formula of know + grow + show= glow is helpful to remember. The more knowingness you develop through reading, life experiences, attending workshops and seminars, and learning from others, the more that you will grow. Then, in turn, you show others by helping, teaching and living by example. As a result of this, you glow with radiance naturally with joy. What a wonderful way to live.

ADVICE QUESTIONS

I have been single for over two years. I have　never been married, no kids, and am in my late 30s. What would be the best way for me to start dating again? I am looking for a long-term relationship.

The best thing to start with is a list. First, create a list of what you love about yourself and what exudes from you. Are you compassionate? Driven? Family oriented? Once you have your list, think about what you would like to find in a soul mate. Make sure it is equal with where you are at in your life. It isn’t fair to ask for a mate that is a worldwide traveler and also a star athlete if you are a homebody that only likes to travel close to home. You must be sure to choose qualities that will make you compatible and match your values. Do you want children? Is religion important to you? What about political beliefs?

Once you have this second list, you are clear on what you want in a mate. Now think about where this amazing being on your list would go. Would he or she hang out at a local upscale lounge? The book store? At a sporting event? Make time in your schedule to get out of your comfort zone and go to different places and events. Talk to more people, be outgoing. Take risks. The key is to do this without trying too hard. Have faith in your mind that you will meet your match. Have a knowingness about it. Be sure to give people chances, making sure that they at least meet the top qualities essential to you, on your list.

I have a long work commute each day–about an hour and a half each way. 　I consider myself a loving, compassionate person, but I find myself getting so angry and irritated with the commute itself and other drivers. 　I don’t like feeling this way. What should I do?

 

The great news is that you have control of your own emotions and state. First take control of your mind by changing your vocabulary. Doing so will change your outlook. Language affects the nervous system. For example, Todd feels frustrated and stressed while driving his commute. He can change how he talks to himself and say that he feels fascinated and is challenging himself to be even greater during his trek. Automatically, this will help Todd see that the drive is actually quality time for himself to think, listen to music and inspirational CD’s, look at the beautiful sky, birds and trees, and be grateful for living in a country where we have so many freedoms. If you focus on what is good, you will find yourself laughing at how you used to get upset, which can end up affecting you negatively, in turn influencing your entire day. This way you stay upbeat and empowered, in control of your own state. Now that’s true positive power!