Let’s Talk About Double Standards

Columnists, Kim Somers Egelsee, Opinion — By Buddy Sampson on December 23, 2025 at 4:00 pm

I’m noticing a trend and I don’t like it. So let’s talk about it.

I’ve been watching people judge and shame others for using weight-loss drugs for likes, follows and exposure…maybe to stir things up with little regard for the people they are talking about.

People who are struggling and just trying to feel better about themselves and their own bodies.

When someone gets Botox or fillers, it’s “good for them.” If someone gets breast implants or a mommy makeover, we say, “whatever helps your confidence.”

But if someone uses a weight loss drug, they are called lazy, unmotivated and undisciplined. That they are taking the easy way out.

Could this just be another form of fat shaming? It’s always been easy to criticize fat people, now we’re doing it in new ways – even when they are trying to improve themselves.

As someone who has shed 195 pounds over the past decade, my thoughts are this:

Fat shaming is real

Body dysmorphia is real

Being treated less than because you’re overweight is real

Being passed over for promotion at work because you don’t have “the look” is real

Being told no man will want you because you’re fat is real

Your ex-husband using porn to be with you intimately is real

Eating to soothe your pain is real

Eating to avoid is real

Eating for comfort is real

Society photoshopping pictures of celebrities to be smaller than they are (Hello Oprah) is real

Pressure to use many quick fixes to be skinny is f*cking REAL!

There is no quick fix – NONE!

Ozempic is not actually a weight loss drug. It’s a prescription medication primarily used to treat type 2 diabetes and reduce cardiovascular events. Sure, weight loss can occur, but that is not the primary function of this drug. People seem to forget that.

That said, people misusing it to lose weight is understandable. Any new drug comes with risks and the desperate people using it are the testing data.

And people are desperate. We’ve been told a message our entire lives: Smaller is better. Pretty is necessary. Skinny makes you worthy.

How is this different from Ayds in the 70s & 80s that women used to use?

Not sure what that is? Google it.

Cigarette diet – 1920s

Grapefruit diet – 1930s

Master Cleanse – 40s – 50s

Cabbage Soup – 50s – 80s

Sleeping Beauty diet – 60s

Wiring the jaw shut – 80s

Keto, Paleo, Whole30, Vegan, Intermittent fasting, Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, Fen-Phen, Xenical…Should I continue?

We tend to use what’s available for whatever we want & then place blame when things go sideways…and not on the culture that pushed us to use it to begin with. All in a quest to lose weight & be what society says is the most current beauty standard.

If we don’t heal what caused us to abuse food (yes, I said abuse) or overeat, no matter what fad we jump on the weight will come back & we will hurt our bodies more in the process.

 

When I was a teenager, I was bulimic & abused laxatives. My digestive system was damaged for years from taking 60-90 laxatives a day to lose weight & that was on top of puking up everything I’d eaten. I just wanted to be thin and pretty and feel loved. And you know what? Food did that for me when everything else fell short.

Telling a person who chooses to use something to help them lose weight that they are lazy or are taking the easy way out has no idea the amount of failed attempts or changing diet and exercise. No way of knowing how many times someone did everything “right” only to gain weight because their body was holding onto trauma. How many times they have picked themselves up and tried again and again and again and again and again and again and again and AGAIN.

Everyone is struggling with something we don’t know about. Most of us are just doing our best with what we have.

When will we stop tearing each other down?

When will we stop judging each other for things we know nothing about?

 

Melissa Tori is a speaker, writer, and 4x best-selling author focused on identity change, self-love, self-worth, and sustainable personal transformation. Known for her inspiring mix of resilience, heart, and unapologetic truth-telling, Melissa draws on lived experience shaped by healing deep-rooted trauma, navigating eldercare, and taking back her life.

After losing 195 pounds naturally, Melissa uses her transformation as proof of what can happen when someone commits to real change from the inside out. Her work emphasizes responsibility, choice, and the long game of creating a more joyful, aligned life.

Through speaking, writing, limited private coaching, and workshops, Melissa serves as a mirror for those ready to stop shrinking and start showing up for themselves. She writes what many were told to keep quiet and speaks for those who are ready to take their life back. Visit her website at https://www.melissatori.com. You may also reach her on Instagram @melissatori. 

Tags: Kim Somers Egelsee, Melissa Tori, Melissa Tori-Brearman, self love, The Scoop