Inspirational Coaching and AdviceColumnists, Kim Somers Egelsee — By Kim Somers Egelsee on February 24, 2011 at 6:24 am
By Kim Somers Egelsee, Inspirational Speaker/Life Coach
Asking for help can sometimes be difficult. We may feel that in doing so, we are being weak or even silly. However, everyone can use help, mentoring, coaching or advice in their life. Relationships are what keep life vibrant, joyful and fun! Great thinkers and wealth builders of the world got to where they were with the help of others, their mastermind group, and even their families. Every time you ask for help or advice, feel strong! You are gaining new knowledge, growth and bettering yourself all at the same time. It is a huge way to move forward fearlessly, taking steps daily to greatness.
I FEEL LIKE MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE HAVE JUST BEEN ENABLING ME, INSTEAD OF ENCOURAGING MY GROWTH. I WANT TO BECOME SELF SUFFICIENT.HOW CAN I ACCEPT THE KINDNESS OF OTHERS WITHOUT BECOMING USED TO EXPECTING OTHERS TO “SAVE” ME?
Accepting help, kindness and generosity from friends and loved ones is an exceptional thing. It makes you feel loved and supported, and the other person feels great also. The important thing is to use this assistance as a growth experience. For example, if Mary is short on the rent by $500, and her best friend gives the money to her with no questions asked, Mary is secure for the month. Now that she is stable, she should use this opportunity to take steps toward earning the money herself for next month’s rent, even saving some. If Mary uses her friend’s generosity again the next month to borrow money again, her friend may begin to feel resentful. Instead, Mary can show her best friend appreciation by using that experience to get ahead.
It is great to receive, but when one ends up leaning on others too much, and not coming up with their own decisions, steps and plans, they end up becoming co-dependent on others, which can lead to loss of their true self, confidence, inner purpose, and drive. The key is to accept generosity, learn and grow from it, and then give back by helping someone else. This will help you to have strong self esteem, and the courage to move forward in your life.
HOW DO I SAY NO TO MY CHILDREN WHEN THEY ASK ME TO BUY THEM UNNECESSARY THINGS? I NEVER WANT THEM TO FEEL THAT THEY “CAN’T AFFORD IT.” I WANT THEM TO GROW UP THINKING ABUNDANT.
So many people have the belief that “money is the root of all evil”, when actually, money can be the root of all miracles if used correctly. It is a great thing to want your children to grow up with the mindset of abundance. They will be more likely to succeed, and achieve wealth and greatness if they can focus on abundance naturally. It’s a great privilege to be able to buy your kids what they want. However, if you do this too often, they could develop a sense of entitlement, where kids feel that they need more and more “things” to feel satisfied.
Therefore, the best thing to do is to have them earn items, and events. For example, Tommy has a chart where he receives stars for good behavior, chores, books read, and other positive actions. Then, he has the ability to use different amounts of those stars to get the things that he wants and go to the events and places of his choice. This can also work with allowance. Your children will learn the lesson of earning, deserving, and working for what they want. They will build self esteem and drive this way too. You can explain the importance of this to them, as well as the fact that it isn’t good for them to get everything they want. Try having them choose items to give away to those less fortunate. This will help them to see that it is a benefit to earn the things that they work for. The result will be a happy, balanced, and grateful child.
TIPS and TOOLS
Thank someone everyday for something they’ve given or taught you.
When you truly get aligned with your life purpose, you can look back and say, “ah, now I know why those other things in my life didn’t SEEM to work, when in reality they worked out exactly as they were meant to be; all perfectly so my purpose was found.”
Kim Somers Egelsee is an inspirational speaker and life coach certified in NLP. She regularly speaks at seminars and events. Kim is an expert at getting people’s lives to a “10” plus. Contact Kim for your free thirty minute meeting, or to speak at your business or group.